Soft Power: Authenticity is the key (manuscript)

[The utopia will be built on authenticity]

Authenticity – meaning – “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character”, i.e., “not false or imitation”

(The Meririam-Webster Dictionary, 2024)

Introduction- 

In 2023, “authenticity” was the most searched for word in the Merriam Webster Dictionary. Yet authenticity appears to be in very short supply in today’s world. Machines can now create art, literature, and music better than most people, disciplines once believed to be innately human, creating new layers of artificial illusion in our daily lives, while raising fundamental concerns over human purpose in the world. Politicians vacillate between meek diplomacy and strong man lies, and art has become thoroughly enmeshed into commerce, creating a hybrid media sector where cinema, television, music, and literature are bound to algorithmic laws, black boxes which reduce the complexity of life down to hamburgers, listicles, and formulaic flicks. Everything uncertain, and therefore unnecessary, is sacrificed for the optimisation of profit, in a perpetually imitating feedback loop which reduces long-term risk.

The modern person lives a life of mostly grey- awkward and sterile- like the meticulously planned cities that they occupy- unfeeling concrete, glass, and steel- where nothing can grow. More than 50% of people now live in man-made cities and never has the power of the metropolis extended so widely, or penetrated so deeply into the conscious and unconscious of a culture (Li et al., 2023; TWB, 2023). Our true desires are buried so deep that they can only find their expression in insecurities- unwieldy aggression, paranoia, and spiteful vitriol- the instinctual responses of a caged animal, who’s bared teeth reveal its vulnerability. Other people, sensitive and trusting, feel their alienation and fall into quiet melancholy. Unable to place faith in themselves, they turn to rules, the accepted material answers of the culture, further blinding themselves to their hearts. Anyone blessed with the necessary force of character and the inward language with which to speak their truth, daren’t, for fear of standing out- like a vulnerable flower in a sea of grey nails. 

It is no wonder then, that something within us calls out for the authentic, as the lost self, relegated to the dark unconscious, tries desperately to breakthrough into the conscious light of day, where it might reassert its value. As the emotions, intuitions, and dreams bubble up from within, in an attempt to make a whole out of a one-sided person, so too does authentic artistic expression seek to compensate for an overly-materialistic society through lyrics, prose, and brush strokes.

This, I think, is the silent power which catapulted the bedroom pop scene to such prominence on YouTube around 2017-2018. Freed from the interference of producers and having direct access to an online audience, independent musicians like Mac Demarco, Alvvays, and Rex Orange County could cement themselves as uniquely authentic voices in an otherwise bland market. These bedroom musicians varied wildly in their artistic personalities, geography’s, and backgrounds, but all of them infused lo-fi sounds with idiosyncratic lyrics which expressed a depth of personality rarely heard before. Never before had a musical movement been so disparate and yet its character so clearly defined by the principle of authenticity.

Of all these musicians, it is perhaps Fazerdaze - the musical alias of New Zealand born Amelia Murray- who best embodies the spirit of the movement. The delicate introspection expressed in her breakout record ‘Morningside’ in 2017 was heralded as the ‘Coming of Age Album for Introverts’ giving voice to a demographic so often drowned out by the cacophony of loud, bold, and brash extraverts who dominate music (Renshaw, 2017).

Reflective lyrics, which finely weaved both emotional uncertainty and assurance regarding questions of love, friendship, and life, were combined with washed out dream pop sounds, giving the record a uniquely ambivalent mystique, as if one were forever recounting a summer memory. There was a strong sense of place, with all these songs living in the albums namesake- Morningside, the street where the artist found some repose during a transitory time between university and reality- evoking the kind of intimate magic that finds itself even in mundane places- a quiet suburb in tree dappled light- where the self can take root and songs can spring from the mind like flowers between the pavements.

The album did well, spearheaded by the breakout hit ‘Lucky Girl’, achieving well over 23 million views on YouTube alone, leading to a series of international tours. Lucky Girl best embodied the albums theming, and perhaps the spirit of the whole bedroom genre, with its seemingly cheery and grateful surficial tone belying a deeper internal world of relationship uncertainty- revealing the tension between the authentic self at battle with the inauthentic public persona, a personal expression of the wider anxieties fellow millennials were experiencing at the time- the hopes and fears of passing into adulthood. It was a surprise then when the artist, having seemingly taken off professionally, went silent.

Five years passed with no significant releases. The reserved artist returned to privacy, seemingly indefinitely, until 2022, when a new EP- “Break!” exploded onto the scene, and it was immediately clear that things had changed. The EP was distinctively bold, announcing itself with punchy simplicity, smashing the silence that had held sway over the artist for half a decade. Its aesthetic and sound harnessed the grunge nostalgia of the musician’s youth and the piercing acid green, which unified the EPs visuals, was a near total contrast to the warm light blues and washed out suburban collages of “Morningside”.

But within the sensational green was still sequestered, with disarming simplicity, the deeply reflective quality of Amelia’s early work. The grunge green was, on a deeper level- the sickly green of an inner illness, while also being, counterintuitively, the vibrant green of life and growth. Creative deadlock, due to the pressures of touring and a failing relationship, had led to a personal and artistic drought- an impotence which denied musical output and demanded a change from within. In its lyrics, the EP explored the seemingly contradictory ways in which she was able to achieve personal and artistic growth by surrendering herself to negative feelings and hard truths in her life, despite the significant personal, interpersonal, and professional disruptions they caused-

“I lost a lot of confidence during that time and my sense-of-self really eroded. Eventually, I had to surrender to the truth of the toxic situations I was finding myself in, both professionally and personally. No longer being stoic and strong was the best thing I ever did for myself. Giving up on the people and things that weren’t working in my life was this big emotional release. I could finally put down this weight I was carrying. Ever since then, things have been flowing in my life again. I can hear my intuition, write songs and be creative again… Its like the floodgates opened for good stuff coming back into my life.”

(Murray in DIY, 2022)

The EP was well received (Anderson, 2022; Regan, 2022; Flying Nun, 2022) and another year past, but this time with a promise- that a new project was underway, an album called ‘Soft Power’. It promised to express the great transformative force of the inner world, to redirect our perception from the cold controlling forces from without, to the deeper subtler powers within, and to establish the authentic spirit as the great motivating force for us all, the new north star-

“With Soft Power, I hope this record inspires people to see that true power doesn’t come from control or dominance, it comes from something much quieter and deeper within us. True power radiates from the heart, not the head, and leads from love rather than fear. I hope to see a world where soft power is the star.”

(Murray, 2024)

The visceral personal accounts of “Break!” and the intimate utopic vision of “Soft Power”, when taken together, would reveal with stunning intuitive clarity the inner mechanisms of the heart and mind. It would lyrically describe a methodology which could be readily applied in every life, to improve the world through the enacting of the authentic, and would highlight a uniquely powerful quality in the introverted tendency, inspiring confidence among those not traditionally acknowledged as courageous in the inauthentic world of vaunters and big talkers. This is that story, as told through the lyrics and moods of “Break!” and “Soft Power”, Fazerdaze’s second period and the new spirit of the age- a fresh new morning- the sun of surety rising finally from the ambivalent night.

I.               Am I just overthinking it?-

“It [Break!] implies a sense of rigidity, that I used to have, with being really fixed in the way I thought, in the way I approach things. That wore me down…”

(Murray in Stamp, 2022)

Break! opens to a repressed artist, the “…low key loser, a stranger to herself…” who in her attempts to maintain the established order in her life, hides away in her head. An increasingly self-conscience attitude, one which infernally reinforces itself through repeated mantras of self-doubt- as exemplified in the repetitive formulas of “Overthink It”- suppressing the malign feelings simmering away within her heart-

“Why do you stoop so low?

Do you think I overthink it?

Yeah, I guess it shows…

here’s hoping, ah, yeah I,

I’m overthinking it”

(Murray, Overthink it, 2022)

Layers upon layers of over-conscientiousness smother the artist, even overthinking whether or not others can notice that she is overthinking. These menacing feelings were subconsciously expressed within “Morningside” but were not ready to be recognised-

“…I couldn’t understand why I was writing these very angsty songs, like I almost didn’t want to admit it to myself. I think my subconscious was much further along processing than my conscious brain.”

(Murray in Stamp, 2022)

Now, two Amelia’s assert themselves, the worn out artist, the ego which must maintain the status quo for fear of great change, and the authentic Amelia who now thrashes away in the background, sonic seeds of discord desperately trying to slice through the smothering straight jacket of the mind-

“Ah, yeah, I know it

Ah, yeah, come overI think I've been overthinking it

It's over (It's over, I know it, we're getting nowhere)

Ah, yeah, I know it (It's only just now unfolding)

Ah, yeah, come over (Come over, here's hoping)

Ah, yeah, I -I'm overthinking it”

(Murray, Overthink it, 2022)

The head and the heart, locked in a Mobius battle, begin to generate a friction which leads to a boiling point. The inner world begins to demand change, the heart pacing on the tongue of the singer, push”ing and pushing the artist closer and closer to the tipping point-

Something's gotta give, something's gotta give,

Something's gotta change, something's gotta change

(Murray, Break!, 2022)

“But the head is still not ready, the spirit remains weaker. Amelia second guesses herself, searching for excuses and explanations. She just needs to silence the chaotic noise in her head, the discordant electric guitars-

I didn't mean it or did I mean it?

I think I might have said it, but wasn't meaning to say it

Said I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to bother

I need some water and to meditate in a corner

(Murray, Break!, 2022)

Leave the waters to simmer for too long though, and there comes the inevitable point of evaporation- where a near total dedication to outside forces- her domineering relationship, public persona, and hand-me-down ideals- caused a silencing of the artist’s soul- a hollow depression-

“I let myself get lost in you

Gave it all too much, too much too soon

And within you I would disappear

So when you wanted me I wasn't there

And when your hands searched through

Searched through the sheets

To only find an empty shell of me…”

(Murray, Flood Into, 2022)

Depressive themes are reinforced in Soft Powers ‘Sleeper’, where the diffuse artist fights back the miasma of doubt, the darkness of the night, but is ultimately swallowed up by the unconscious- 

“feeling my way through the dark

I can't quite make out the shapes of the night

it's fine I hold my breath and count my steps

I know I haven't woken yet…

I fold in so lightly

and darkness shines so brightly

I blend into where my body ends

and sleep begins to swell and tumble

I let it pull me under”

(Sleeper, Murray, 2024)

A tragic and passive permeability engulfs the artist’s self-descriptions- worn out from possession, from the clawing and clamouring for more, she slips through her own self-acknowledgement, like sand. Her mind a series of contortions trying desperately to ignore the terrible necessity of conflict, as well as the inevitable personal anguish and social disruption which comes from it-

“I’m falling through the cracks, and

Meld around all his edges,

As long as I stay still, it’s

Almost nearly bearable”

(Murray, A Thousand Years, 2024)

The tracks video- filmed, directed, and edited during the “depths of Christchurch winter”- was meticulously constructed to evoke the alienation and detachment which is so often associated with the season, where growth freezes over, silently hiding from the cold judgemental stare of its Saturnine ruler.

The five years of creative deadlock turn into a thousand years of wondering ever further inwards through the winter wastes of depression, emphasising the vastness of the problem, and the ticking clock- the ultimate external force, the end of life’s season, bearing down on us all. A heart breaking contrast to the intimate concerns and languid summer pace of “Morningside”-

“I watch the world go by, and

Days start to multiply, and

Months start to disappear, I

Fold into a thousand years”

(Murray, A Thousand Years, 2024)

With this knowledge in hand, the track “Winter”, with its luxuriously bright lofi vistas, takes on darker evocations in classic Fazerdaze fashion, weaving the persona, season, and deeper meanings into a wise feminine mystique. Its cheery sound and delicate piano keys, now glisten like snow crystals and whore-frost against a clear winter sky- a twinkling surface that belies the suffocation of winter, of the true-self, the emotional reality which sleeps like seeds in a death-like slumber, distanced, and numbed by an emotionally negligent relationship-

“I told you not to worry, I tried

Forget it, now I'm distant

All day, all night, you were never on time

Walk out the door unresolved, never mind”

(Murray, Winter, 2022)

Dancing Years explores these issues with greater resolution. An age-based power imbalance subverts the elegant dance of love, twisting it into an effortful and discordant flail, the sound of stamping on toes. If one dancer takes the lead too often, it leaves little room for the other to stand on their own two feet, exacerbating the sense of inadequacy, nursing the pacifying doubts, and solidifying the fear of living within an uncoordinated dance as time passes by. This must be the hard power of control and domination that contrasts the soft-

“I suffocate in thought

pinned against the wall

A fumble and I fall

fake a smile through it all

I’m flickering with doubt

I see the spotlight coming around

I wanna run and hide

just let this moment pass me by

dancing years

these are our dancing years

dancing years

these are our dancing years

we’re tangled up in time

watching years slide by

and I’m twenty years behind

but you don't seem to mind

cos you hold me up

do I hold you down?

we’re stepping in time

feel I’m just lagging

words in my ear

could we disappear

you’ve taken the lead now

I can just follow you”

(Murray, Dancing Years, 2024)

It was always clear that Amelia was a sensitive soul, but empathy and naivety are so often two heads of the same coin. Purple 02’s jangling surf guitar sounds happy enough but the lyrical contrast speaks to a profoundly sad cognitive dissonance, a dissociation between her waking life and the needs of a vulnerable heart, an uneasy warmth to contrast with Winters suppressive cold. It starts with projection, all the wonderful things which call out from the unconscious to be embodied in life which are instead projected out into everyone else, including all the wrong people. She is not yet ready to deal with mental abuse-

“I look for me in everyone else

I soak it in, soak up like a sponge

my walls came in then start to go up

I crawl back in back into my shell

you break me in break into my mind

then mess with me just some of the time

and wore me down like everyone else

I start to lose me within myself

why why the wide eyes

(why, why the wide eyes?)

close them shut when it gets too much

why why do I try

(why, why do I try?)

I close up when it gets too much”

(Murray, Purple-02, 2024)

The hustle and bustle of modern life feeds into the unhealthy relationship dynamics expressed in both Winter and Purple 02, the lack of communication which can be so readily explained away by busyness, the spirit which can be explained away by the absence of a god. Crisp, metallic, and incisive words which contrast against the raging guitar heart which demands explanation-

“You can talk, I'm not listening

I'm too tired, are you busy?

Yeah, you are inundated

Yes, you are evidently

It's alright, it's okay

We can talk in a minute

If in doubt, pray to God

It's a shame no one's listening”

(Murray, Break, 2022)

Indeed, despite the frozen alienation and introverted tones, Amelia remains distinctly frenetic and outward looking throughout ‘Break!’. With a mind unable to look inwards, to sit comfortably with itself in solitude, it inevitably turns outward desperately searching for idols of false meaning, anything to distract from the honest path, the slippery path. The temptation of societal desires- power, acclaim, wealth- like a sweet thick honey, which entices and ensnares, a projection of one’s true desires, which are now so obscured by the whirlwind of our distraction culture, we forget why we were ever so animated in the first place, leading to an ever deeper, remoter alienation-

“I'm movin’ in the thick of the honey

I'm movin' way too slow

Sometimes, it seems we’re all goin' crazy

In the thick of it all

We never know why

Never know why

Never know why”

(Murray, Thick of the Honey, 2022)

[“It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs”]

Fuzzy reverb smothers the track, a thick morass which traps the artist and listener. The only escape- the spiralling and seemingly irrational freefall which the instincts demand, incalculable, dangerous, and against the grain-   

“I know it’s complicated

No time for questions now

The ground beneath you shakin’

So don't look down”

(Murray, Thick of the Honey, 2022)

The Thick of the Honey falls into Overthink it- “I fell off the ground, Didn’t want to make a sound”, hiding her declining wellbeing behind the high functioning mask of competency. But by the end of the song, Amelia frames and magnifies her self-suppressive tactics, which are now bringing her to the point of collapse, within the manic blur of a relationship and of a culture, sinking ships too afraid to address the encroaching tide of issues, the root causes- 

“It's the type of year that I'm on the brink of tears

Tryna keep it together, but I'm crumbling under pressure

What a blur, this is life as we see the levels rise

Watch the ground disappear and we're acting out of fear”

(Murray, Overthink it, 2022)

How do you salvage a relationship built on other people’s ideas? How do you save a civilisation whose dependencies will be its downfall?

The answer for the diligent artist seems obvious- work harder, create more, surpass yourself- let the ideals you admire become you. But such ideas are second-hand, top-down, and can only cloak and conceal the true self from itself and others. Ideals are the petrified thoughts of other people and no matter how excellent they might be, to embrace them too closely is to lose your own feeling way-  

“Sometimes perseverance and being noble and loyal, and I think those values may appear to be ‘good’ values but you have to go deeper than that and ask yourself, ‘Is this situation really making my inner being feel full and happy? Or am I buying into these values and just playing them out accordingly?”

(Murray in Jacob, 2022)

In not following her own way, the artist becomes a performer, in intimacy and in public- 

“I’m falling through the cracks, and

Meld around all his edges,

As long as I stay still, it’s

Almost nearly bearable

Don’t stop to think about it

No use trying to get out of it

‘Cause there’s no way out of here

Play to the crowd till I disappear

Just don’t stop to think about it”

(Murray, A Thousand Years, 2024)

The intransigence of One Thousand Years’ lyrics reinforces the amorphous and depressive permeability which underlies an otherwise calm and collected sounding track, with its particular and formalised rhythm, reflecting the high functioning nature of the illness- the lack of healthy boundaries, which in turn leads to a flattening of the true self.

The personal pains sift seamlessly into the professional, as the desperate performer throws herself into her public persona, less out of love for the craft, and more as an escape from her personal life. In the absence of a self, Amelia is left little choice but to become her creation, a facsimile (Lochrie, 2022). Fazerdaze, once a florescence of expression, is reduced to another tool of self-suppression, and the performances that once gave life to the dream, now add to the ossifying feedback loop of alienation and the resulting death of authentic artistic expression-

“Yeah, I get emotional

Did you think all of this wouldn't have taken its toll?

Yeah, dim the lights real low

As I whisper all my secrets through a microphone”

(Murray, Overthink it, 2022)

But trend is not destiny- as the plaintive lyrical repression of ‘One Thousand Years’ drifts on repeat, as the conscious mind spirals into ever deeper melancholia, the glinting and mysterious spirit of the track, swelling from deep below, suddenly ruptures into a great and terrible roar. A huge electric orchestra reveals itself as the grand apogee of the song- like a sunken city, once submerged at the bottom of the ocean, now rises up from out of the serene and sparkling waters. Rusted and barnacled, yet still iron and stone, the hard power resounds in the soft, creating a jagged horizon, breakers of long repressed emotions now ready to pierce into the light of day.

II.            Somethings got to break-

Break- “to separate or cause to separate into pieces as a result of a blow, shock, or strain;

an interruption of continuity or uniformity;

fail to observe (a law, regulation, or agreement);

a gap or opening”

(Oxford Languages, 2024)

Unhappiness folds into distress, and distress spirals into utter desolation [“I’ve got none, nothing left, could you save it for my death?”] (Murray, Overthink It, 2022). Wading through the unending dunes, the bleak grey hummocks of depression- freezing, exhausted, starving, and lost [“I’ve got none, nothing left, ‘cept the beating in my chest”] (Murray, Overthink it, 2022). Once every civilising notion is stripped back, the only choice is to confront reality- the eonic forces- the mighty winds which reduced the mountains to dust, the ceaseless waves which ferried those sediments from Cancer to Capricorn, and the great vortex of quicksand now pulling you mercilessly into the pit, the central point of your being, the beating, feeling heart-[“I feel it all decompress, feel it, feel it, feel it”] (Murray, Overthink it, 2022).

But this is not an end point but a breaking point. Amelia cries out-

“Break, break, break”

(Murray, Break!, 2022)

Vicious guitars rip through 5 years of silence. Uncompromising, discordant, instinctual, bold. These are not the sounds of the worn out mind, but of the emotions which now demand change, liberating, destructive, cathartic change-

“I saw something in your eye when you looked at me…

Why do you, when I try to speak, yeah why do you talk over me?

I'm fed up of skirting around the truth when you look right through me

Wait a minute,

Just admit it,

Take a minute,

To commit to a decision,

 Can we give in and, Admit this,

That we've grown apart,

We're falling apart,

Don't make this hard,

This is just the start,

Of us coming apart”

(Come apart, Break!, 2022)

Here, at ground zero of the psychic implosion, shredding guitars simultaneously plunge down into the heart and shoot up into unknown actions. Now intuition leads the charge, the glint of a perfectly sharpened spear, a penetrating stare which cannot be deceived. Behind the eyes is the self, sick of being invisible, who asserts herself with confident thuds, bashing forwards with animal vitality- hefty, lofty, earthy, real. Every chord reads “Trust thyself” and every heart vibrates to that iron string. The artist acknowledges the importance of her feelings in loosening herself from the negative and long spent bonds that were holding her back and now seeks to untangle herself-

“…I couldn’t understand why I was writing these very angsty songs, like I almost didn’t want to admit it to myself. I think my subconscious was much further along processing than my conscious brain.”

(Murray in Stamp, 2022)

[What is the aboriginal self, on which a universal reliance may be grounded? What is the nature and power of that science baffling star?]

The invisible, autonomous forces of the subconscious- the instincts, intuitions, and dreams- which have wildly contorted in the mind to defy every attempt at control, now burst into life, the animal freed from the trap. It is the best thing that could ever happen to you. The barbed wire chrysalis, black as night, burns away the inauthentic machinations of the threatened ego in its molten white core, the first truly authentic experience of adult life, the psychic metamorphosis. All the rationalisations and self-deceptions constructed like crude scaffolding upon the redwood forests heart, all wash away in the great unconscious flood. Paradise cannot be reached without descending into the inferno and every rebirth requires a kind of death, a letting go-

“It’s actually ok to give up sometimes…It’s about the honesty of letting things unravel if they need to. Once you let go of those constructs, that’s when you’re in a place of truth. It might look messy and it might be an ugly process, but it’ll be a place that you can rebuild and renew.”

(Murray in Lochrie, 2022)

[The inquiry leads us to that source, at once the essence of genius, of virtue, and of life which we call spontaneity or instinct. We denote this primary wisdom as intuition]

To give up and give in would seem to break all of societies deeply held convictions, flying in the face of heroism, bravery, and courage. But the subtle thinkers- those admirers of the moon, those followers of Sappho’s pale fire- have always acknowledged it, inscribing it in transparent ink, over the seminal works we think we know- the goodness which glimmers away in every imperfection.      

To surrender to the inner war is to embrace the true law of nature- the ecological principle of disturbance and renewal- since the inner war is always one between civilisation and nature. The human mind, the evolutionary outgrowth that it is, formed from earths clay, is no exception to this unshakable rule. Emotion is ecology, its dreams and intuitions are spontaneous and free of human contrivance. Outer nature does everything in its power to draw us inwards, to give us the tools to understand and articulate the mighty sublimity of our hearts, our inner natures.  

[In that deep force, the last fact behind which analysis cannot go, all things find their common origin]

A mind without emotion invites destruction like a forest without fire. Repress natures spiritual desire, her want of fire, over some other conviction to materiality- like the demand to produce more timber- and the whole forest, now smothered in monocultural uniformity, goes up like a tinder box.

Or take the dam, which holds the water back for municipal consumption, at the expense of the eternal river which once quenched the thirst of all living things, now diminished for the cities sake. Water with its fluidity and depth, its once effortless flow of emotion now halted by the inert concrete constructions of the mind. The more water it attempts to hold back, the more destructive the flood becomes. But when the torrent drowns the old forest, or a fire burns it to ashes, it leaves a clearing, where light pierces into the long hidden depths, from which saplings, fertilised in destruction and more adapted to the ways of pain, can grow-

 “But when I finally found the sense to leave

I felt myself flood back, flood into me”

(Flood Into, Break!, 2022)

In ‘Flood Into’, Amelia sings the regenerative quality of the disruptive waters which bring the vital currents of intuition and creativity back into the artists withered life, accentuated by deep and soothing instrumentals. Multitudes of Amelia’s flood the ears all at once, the many aspects of personality- the memories, dreams, and reflections- long suppressed under the amorphous unity of co-dependence now free to begin anew. Veiled sounds ripple out from the thrashing breakers from earlier in the record, symphonic horizons which wash away the harsher tenor, heralding the vast auroric tones of ‘Soft Power’ yet to come.

III.          Can you see it changing?

The floods subside, the wildfires burn out, and the sun begins to set. The visceral troughs and peaks, the confusions and contradictions, the anger and bliss, all begin to fall into place, drifting into equilibrium. Let the mind smoulder in line with ages timeless rhythm, to find its balance, where emotion, glowing now like embers in the dark, can once again be picked up by reasons lighter touch. From the soul’s disturbance now lies a wooded glade, and the new buds which emerge in this secluded opening are delicate thoughts and softer feelings, to be weaved together to cultivate a mature self- wise, resilient, instinctual, thoughtful- the whole embodiment of soft power.

Cool smooth words skate upon the frozen lake as bright blue skies begin to signal the end of ‘Winter’, the sounds in the tracks beating heart. The artist, now in total instinctual control, dances upon the melting seal, opening up the black depths which underlie everything with cheery ease. It is transparent- the coldness which once imprisoned the soft buds in a wintry dream, the hard ice which now softens into trickling brooks- all that alienation was ephemeral, like crystalline snows of beauty pure and cold. The song reveals itself anew again- the joys of an unfrozen summer heart looking backward to the darker times which now give her strength. Lines in the track which word-for-word describe a repressive relationship, now take on a celebratory meaning, once again in line with the tracks happy sounds, revealing depth in the seemingly superficial and the barrenness of a dissecting analysis of the literal. It takes a lot of pain to convey true happiness, to open up oneself to the world-

“Oh, let's leave the day wide open”

(Murray, Winter, 2022)

Contrasted to the heavy realness of ‘Break!’, its sinking, drifting, and wasting into hell, things become distinctly lighter in Soft Power. Gone are the harsh sounds, the loud prayers not even God could hear and in comes the wash of magical shoegaze hues as the spirit soars. That which spiralled downwards now spirals upwards into the cosmos. Darkness and light merge together like liquid marble. “Caught between this life and dreams”, the two worlds begin to coalesce. Take ‘Cherry Pie’, who’s opening verse immediately confronts the listener with surreal visions of Lynchian Americana-

“Glazed eyes and cherry pie

We are high spirits in those L.A. skies”

(Murray, Cherry Pie, 2024)

[“Fella’s coincidence and fate figure largely in our lives”]

The uncanny exaltation of the exotic yet familiar, an expression of the seemingly paradoxical psychic truth that in order to drive headlong into the new, that unknown darkness of the night, one must reach back into the past, to the authentic self who is most familiar, that childhood self who was forever grappling with the unknown. The old self, tired and faded, is now more of a reflection in the rear view mirror than a tangible person. Their last objective, to drive the new self, who has remained relegated to the back seat for too long now, into the sunrise, so that they may take the wheel.   

With this changing of the guard, the old self with the new, the exhausted with the living, comes the acknowledgement that growth is synonymous with change, and to achieve the former, one must embrace the latter-

Griffith Lookout, look out

The gates will shut and the sky will glow dark

Can you see it changing?

Youth is running out, we finally feel it now

The years from here get faster as the lights keep blurring past this car

My mind is changing, forever is fading

So we search for something else

And as we watch the sun go down

Everything that we knew then we don't know now

There's a silence breathing through the car

My mind is changing, forever is fading

So wе search for something elsе

(Murray, Cherry Pie, 2024)

Authenticity is the tip of growth, it is the pale greenness, the first part to break through into life, to meet the unknown. Primordial yet utterly new, demanding the sensitivity and vision of a child to appreciate its weird new ways.  It is the first sapling to emerge from the soil, the first bud from the tree, the first hatchling to take flight, and the first word on the mouth of humankind. Growth, by its very nature, is vulnerable and it requires the vulnerability of authenticity, the openness to believe the heart and the courage to speak it, in order to thrive. When we leap into the unknown, we prove that we are free-

“With all of these songs I was just like, ‘what are they?!’ They’re just so strange, but something I had to learn was to stop trying to control my output while I’m creating. I had to let whatever needed to come out, come out…I can make whatever comes through me, just let it be, see it through to the end and not judge it.”

(Murray in Lochrie, 2022)

[When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the footprints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;- the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. It shall exclude example and experience]

Amelia’s sub-conscious approach to making art not only lends itself to psychological healing and the dismantling of creative blocks, which are often the result of an overly self-denying conscious attitude, but also encourages the cultivation of an authentic artistic persona.

Know though, that this is not a naïve openness to change, nor the forced optimism of the superficial, but one effortlessly permeated with understanding, words patinaed with the pain and sufferings of a life lived honestly against the capricious headwinds of circumstance. The wasted years, the creative deadlock, and morass of distractions which ‘Break!’ fought viscerally to escape from, turn to tailwinds in the artist’s life. As she watches the setting sun, there is a piercing admission in the silence of the night, of a youth spent exhausted in a fractured half self that will never come back. Time is set only to accelerate from here onwards, glinting flecks of bitter sweetness pass us by. Everything that was learnt seems to pale in comparison to the clear headed experiences of the mature now, the confident lyrics veiled in the deep wisdoms of a nostalgic melancholy that knows, ultimately, how to surrender everything to the searching.

If you cannot even fully possess yourself, then how are you ever expected to possess something else, something outside of yourself? The authentic self demands change, to enter into the flow of life, the long drive into the unknown, to which no conscious force can fully comprehend, in the search for its next life lesson. ‘Cherry Pie’ is like a star- a light in the dark that calls out- pulling the spirit, with its dreams and feelings, as the moon pulls the tide- searching, experiencing, growing.       

Know also that this openness is not a rejection of agency. The conscious self, although deposed, is not exiled. It is soothed by the presence of another, a queen to its king, and knowing now that it is not the lone arbiter of judgement, it is able to relax its tyrannical grip, more a signature of its fear than its malevolence, and can work with a level of precision and confidence not known before. Reason acknowledges the pain, the intuitions, the dreams, and looks to rebuild the ruined ego, not with the single minded calculus of an engineer, but with the diplomacy of a gardener, who understands the limits of the soil and climate which define his work- the cultivation of something beautiful and productive. A whole person is both mind and spirit, growing and moulding. Mind and nature now work together to set new boundaries- every secret garden hides in cloisters – the root of paradise, the root to paradise, is a walled garden.

The gates shut on the onlookers, and the authentic work, which can only be achieved in the solitude and silence, begins in earnest. The old plans, drafted by city planners- strangers with standardised grids and modular designs, are thrown out. New plans are drawn, schematics which aim for new heights, maps which encompass unexplored frontiers, and most importantly, lines which demarcate the new pulsating, germinating measure of the self in the face of an unyielding and uncertain world-           

“we dissolved right in but overtime, I was losing the edge of myself so I drew a line”

(Murray, Flood Into, 2022)

[“What have I to do with the sacredness of traditions, if I love wholly from within?”]

As a person gains greater emotional understanding, there comes a greater sense of self-embodiment and trust, as they become aware that they have an inner unconscious partner. This instinctual partner operates distinctly from their conscious sense of self but can guide them through their hardships in a way that is much more personally tailored to their individual circumstances, when compared to the top-down generalist guidance imposed by culture, given that it is embodied in their lived experiences. This makes the expressed contents from the unconscious much more authentic and meaningful when compared to the slogans and clichés passed on second-hand throughout culture. Authenticity is the innovation of growth.

The conscious mind which once fractured the artist with its frenetic overthinking and oppressive self-doubting, fearful of the many paths foreseen, not knowing which, if any would lead to life, see’s now with pure desert clarity the one narrow, incisive path from which there can be no turning back-

“Why do you stoop so low?

Do you think I overthink it?

Yeah, I guess it shows

Yeah, just count it out

Nothing matters, but remember every second counts

Focus on your breath and just try to clear your head

Filter out what they said and dispose of all the dregs

I've got none, nothing left, could you save it for my death?

Man, I'm not that impressed, you're just tryna get ahead”

(Murray, Overthink it, 2022)

Clarify, count, calibrate. Filter, focus, dispose. Systematic, judgemental and calculating, the electric guitar represents the machine mind but this machine still channels emotions. It says- “your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none”. Authentic goodness is gifted knowing the risks, otherwise it is given away freely and if something can be given away so easily, then it can be taken away as well. It acknowledges the failings of the past and synthesises the lessons. Judgement serves its function- to conserve, to protect, to define and optimise the contours of the self- like a shining sword and shield, the supports and beams of a new city.

Every distraction from the outer world, every torment and projection, falls away. You don’t want distractions, you don’t need distractions, all you need is the work. When all the tangled tethers are frayed apart perception becomes a blade, a blade that cuts through all the bullshit, all the acting, all the playing and administrating which buried the soul. It distils out the intensity of life, now that every second counts for so much more. We only have a limited time on this earth, so we must fight to spend as much of it as authentically as we can. What was once perceived as negative becomes a positive. A recognition of the finite impels the spirit to burn more brightly, to soar even higher. Fazerdaze’s words brew like a metallic storm, presiding over the end of this otherwise fractured track.

The solitude, the judgement, and the pure resolve to self-agency all work in unison, like meticulous clockwork, to make Amelia’s art all the more courageous and honest, as her expressions are now permeated with both light and dark- new ideals not necessarily accepted by cultures nervous obsession with positivity. So much of what makes us who we are goes unspoken, a whole world of understanding hidden in the dark, but that’s where stars emerge from. This is the hopeful trip-hop behind ‘Distorted Dreams’- magnificent, patient, and reverberating upwards from the beating, pounding depths of the sea- not in spite of, but because of, an imperfect world. I couldn’t hope to feel something more real than that-

“all these perfect things come in distorted dreams”

(Murray, Distorted Dreams, 2024)

Heaviness and hardness give form to the softness, as contradictions and paradoxes veil mysticism over Amelia’s wise words- the power. The glowing dark, the knowing unknowing and the fading forever, all constellate into a swirling dreampop mystery. They speak to the introverted nature of the soft power, where deep in the solitude of the self, at the point psychic inversion, a light came out of the darkness, destruction became growth, the irrational became rational, and death became life. Having fallen deep down into the wellspring of truth, no survey nor schematic could possibly describe with adequacy its workings in the reasoned light of day.

Authentic individuality cannot escape remoteness and mystique, as it is a child of isolation. It fills the sky of Cherry Pie with celestial lights, flickering like willows over deep and bitter fjords. The highways, in their desolation, ripple like muscle in the night, as the one rider drives on alone.

[“The city’s gone to sleep now, I’m driving through the streets now, the city glitters in the dark”]

But its origin is in ‘Flood Into’, where the authentic-self burst triumphantly into life, accompanied by a remoteness never before heard in the artist’s work. Her voice, in total contrast to the viscerality from earlier in the EP, is now ethereal like the morning mist shrouding the water’s rippling surface. An evocative tranquillity whose distant intonations no longer convey the alienation of a sickly spirit, but of a soul so suffused in the majesty of the personal, that it cannot help but resonate like a faraway song- familiar yet undeniably unique, a glowing in the darkness.   

It is the point at which the line is drawn that mystique is created. When the gates are closed, we long to know what’s hidden inside. The impossibility of drinking the waters of thought forever lapping in sight of the soul, like looking out across a vast ocean. A child becomes an individual when they learn how to hold a secret, separating them from the flow of parental dependencies. There is a grotto of pearls in the hearts of the wise, hidden at the bottom of the deep blue sea, never spoken directly but always felt in their words. Boundaries are intimately tied to dreams, protecting delicate anemones which can only grow under the canopies shade, fed by the dappled light of the moon. All people share a common suite of experiences, feelings and ideas. There is a universal well that we all draw from, as there is a universal ancestor we all derive from, but it is how those base principles, that shared glow, is refracted through the prism of temperament and experience which creates the glittering kaleidoscope of authentic expression.

In turn, the deeply intuitive and unspoken nature of the archetype suffuses the art with an invisible magic, a qualia which reveals the universal in the very personal, where the individuals tender self-reflections can intertwine with the transcendent forces playing out within ecology and psychology, and the art becomes a true expression of nature, channelled from the unconscious, which can be meaningfully understood by all who hear it. These expressions, transmitted though they are through the common forums of tuition, will always speak to the intuition as a shimmer of wonder- there is knowing in unknowing.   

The life waters of ‘Flood Into’ gently unfolds into the dream oceans of ‘Soft Power’. Having found its contours along the shores and stony cliffs, its thrashings turn to ripples and lush pulsations bubble up from the hot geysers in the oceans molten heart. The deep ocean, like the night, is full of mystery. In ‘Bigger’, hazy indigos cover the artist in a dream like mirage-

“I was in a bright light

Standing there alone

I could feel it pull me

Away from you

It's strange and new

And I'm swept up in a crowded room

Where no one gets me like you do…”

 (Murray, Bigger, 2024)

Here, the alienation which comes with performance is remediated through the intimacy of a safe relationship, in total contrast to the relationship of ‘Break!’, where interpersonal problems interact with professional problems to create a sick artist. Are these memories shades of good amongst the bad? Is this something new? Or is it more abstract, an internal recognition of the authentic, autonomous self which now serves as refuge against the demanding world?

The theme that connects the contradictions- the fated agency, the bitter sweetness, the liberation in boundaries, the power in the softness- speaks to a deeper understanding, to see that true insight is not in the separating, as with knowledge, but in the unifying of the seemingly oppositional. Amelia, like the Queen of Cups, strides along the oceans edge, between land and sea, “between life and dreams”, where feeling and thought are brought into coexistence. A tessellating force underlies the track, drawing the disparate worlds together. The authentic is a mediator-

“We're caught between

This life and dream

But you and me

We're bigger

Let's try to figure this out

Half way out the doorway

I know I shouldn't stay

And in the morning I'll be a world away

I'll grow, I'll change

But when I'm gone it's clear to me

You're where I always want to be”

(Murray, Bigger, 2024)

The conscious and unconscious components have harmonised- growth intertwines with permanence. The integrity of the personality, its history rooted in disturbance, forms a resilient and grounding centre to return to in times of need. Acknowledging the power of dreams keeps open the space for growth, innovation, and adaptation, ensuring that the self remains dynamic, the winter remains a shifting season. While the discerning hand of reason guides the cultivation of the wild, autonomous spirit, focusing its ancient vitality into a penetrating and judicious wisdom.  

The natural and the artificial coalesce to form the mature and authentic person. Electric auroras, speeding cars and swirling sky lights, like the sublime weavings of heart and mind, music and lyrics, come together in an expanse of synthesizer vistas. Flecks of shining foil rain down all around us, as if that iron cloud had finally burst from up on high, machine-like and cerebral but distinctly mystical and alive.

The two sides of the artist’s femininity- Fazerdaze and Amelia, persona and person- become a canvas for the internet. Like a flashbulb turning on in the dark, the blindingly mercurial creature of ‘It’s so Easy’ totally embodies, with stellar electric charge, that name Fazerdaze, which crackles like static the first time you hear it. Her ears plugged into the mainframes luminal code, the sensitive soul who can read the hearts and minds of millions. Her sugar charged eyes focused directly on the camera, ready to be hyper-amplified into the screens and minds of the world, two plasma-based fazer cannons set to fry the circuits between dreams and reality. Her body, working now at maximum bandwidth, becomes a cosmic reflector of the infinitely twinkling possibilities that exist in every one of us. Doubt, and the limits which they impose, are dazzled out of existence, Fazerdaze flies through digital infinity, pure effortless anima, taking form not once nor twice but a million times-

“it’s so easy to escape my mind with you

it’s so easy to stay up all night with you

it’s only in the dark we feel this way

it’s only in the dark we start to feel this way

(it’s so) inside me all the time

(it’s so) it’s in the back of my mind

am I only dreaming? (it’s so easy)

I find it so easy

(it’s so) inside me all the time

(it’s so) I let the hours fly

am I only dreaming(it’s so easy)

I find it so easy

it’s so easy when I lose myself in you

we’re just dreaming trying to undo reality

I know they try to make it hard to feel this way

it doesn’t have to be so hard to feel this way”

(Murray, So Easy, 2024)

 [What if what stores power also connects it?]

Fazerdaze, the iridescent prism of hyperpop excitement, the furthest cry imaginable from those reclusive thousand years, where Amelia, standing stoically among winter pylons appears ready to join them, power surging deep within the steel. The artist presents herself as a portrait but televised distortions frame the figure and play over the eyes. Both come effortlessly, both come naturally, a fully authentic Fazerdaze, a zapping light and an iron will. Introverted depths, the foundation for the extraverted spark flows of expression- the connector. Remember your distorted dreams, the glittering city in the dark, it must be electrifying but grounded in the earth. A churning sea of emotions lies behind every glowing phone in this iridescent metropolis, the undercurrent of creative expression, innovation and feeling connection-

“Your phone glow face in the dark

Lights up the living room and our whispers start

Can you sleep well?

Nor can I

Should we just talk all night and compare our minds?

Do you feel the same thing?”

(Murray, Cherry Pie, 2024)

Things which looked inert turn out to be alive. Surely this is a celebration of technology, its ability to charge, connect, and express the self at maximum bandwidth, high resolution intimacy, the current that gave life to the bedroom music scene. Machines are but extensions of ourselves, dark and light, and we can make the machines do more light. The city lamps glow nebulous white and blue against the black, and they seem to stretch out into forever, like mountains beyond mountains. The concrete and fibreglass which seemed so artificial in my old life turn into space and stars upon the horizon. Streetlights shining out into where there are no streets, flowers of light left by the angels of old. Inauthenticity came from the city and so we must return to the city to readdress the balance-

 “There’s a hush now in our hearts

There’s a hush now, it glows dark

There’s a hush now in our hearts

There’s a hush now, it glows dark (Do you feel the same thing?)

There’s a hush now in our hearts (All the lights keep blurring)

There’s a hush now, it glows dark (There's a silence breathing)

There’s a hush now in our hearts (Can you see it changing?)There’s a hush now”

(Murray, Cherry Pie, 2024)

Once the opposing forces of knowing and unknowing are brought into alignment, a hush falls, the mind unified and the soul satisfied. The night time streets turn quiet and peace finally descends into the inward looking mind so that it can gently explore the contours of the authentic self once more and for the first time.

The dream world which once consumed the artist in darkness now begins to inspire. The heavy lyrics explored with analytical drive soften amongst the otherworldly soundscapes.  It begins to muster within ‘Sleeper’, where delicate acoustics bring Morningside and the old Amelia to mind. The strumming starts in the night so slow but it layers momentum with folds, swells and tumbles. That wide-eyed fire, blown out of existence still flickers on the forest floor, smoke still whispering upwards amongst the embers-

“feeling my way through the dark

I can't quite make out the shapes of the night

it's fine I hold my breath and count my steps

I know I haven't woken yet

a flickering mind says I don't belong here

I shut it out till I disappear

I float into another night

float into another night

all the light falls quietly

a dark unknown surrounding

I fold in so lightly

and darkness shines so brightly

I blend into where my body ends

and sleep begins to swell and tumble

I let it pull me under”

(Sleeper, Murray, 2024)

All of that delicacy which was weakness in the wrong hands, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, now begins to shift into power. She reminds us that the answers we seek are often vulnerable and fear the hustle and bustle. They often lie hidden away, within in the quiet spaces of our hearts and minds, like the soft cancerean sea creature of ‘Purple-02’, but these creatures hold onto brilliant pearls and keep them safe, sequestered in their shells. The tracks languid, beach like strums, like the bright sunlight which warms the once cold and turbid seawater, finally invites the little fellows, and all their pearls of intuition, out of hiding. They rub their sleepy eyes and open them wide once more-

“I look for me in everyone else

I soak it in, soak up like a sponge

my walls came in then start to go up

I crawl back in back into my shell

you break me in break into my mind

then mess with me just some of the time

and wore me down like everyone else

I start to lose me within myself

why why the wide eyes

(why, why the wide eyes?)

close them shut when it gets too much

why why do I try

(why, why do I try?)

I close up when it gets too much”

(Murray, Purple-02, 2024)

City Glitter takes that painful moment of loss, the arrows strike which defines a life, as the church spires pierce the sky with stone, and frames it within the transitional nature of the now waking sleepers dream. At first, the tort string wails out from this wound, the memory of an old dream falling out of reach. But there is a thumping heart of roses which backs the lyrics. The artist turns from mourning to grace, a choral song full of hope, which travels upwards amongst the stone chiselled roses. Did you intend to strike the chord of heaven with your prayer? Can the flowers of stone carved like crowns among the columns come to life? The rhythm grows in strength and the tightness loosens, as the lone singing sculptor methodically chips away at her craft and builds a new life. One begins to wonder, was she not only the singer, not only the carver of the rose, but the creator of these columns, these beams, this great stone floor, and the whole structure alone?  

“the city's gone to sleep now

I'm driving through the streets now

the city glitters in the dark

the city glitters in the dark

your house fading to the background

when we thought we had it planned out

now as I turn into the dark

the city glitters where you are

will I look back to see

you waiting there for me

you waiting there for me yeah

but like a fading dream

you're further than I reach

you're further than I reach, yeah

I let you go with each passing night...

I let you go with each passing night...”

(Murray, City Glitter, 2024)

Deep dreams never truly die, they only ever fade into the background, always looking to emerge at the next phase of growth with ever greater clarity and unity, the glittering city we see on the horizon. They are messages, distorted though they may be, always summoning to the beat of the shamanesses drum, calling out from the Pleroma’s never ending edge, to crystallise into the courage of the whole authentic self.  

In ‘Blue’ things go slow and steady, attuned now to the oceans rhythms- intuition has its ways- clarity isn’t something to be rushed, or that can be forced, it arrives when you least expect it, at the right place, at the right time, with the right one. A gentle yet firm inner knowing, a quiet confidence that you can trust. Amelia unties, swims up and pierces the dark oceans veil to find what she needed in the light of day. The cold blue of depression and isolation transcends to the warmth of self-faith and connection. The sky around her is both radiantly light and sublimely dark. As she opens herself up to the world, the great cosmic rose unfurls in return, every one of its petals an emanation of spirit across the resonating sea- this one wisdom, this one clarity, this one love, this one life- all waves and stars moving together in harmony.

“we're talking every night

your body needs it slow

we stay the week at mine

you're learning to be close again

cos all those years we went unseen

and tangled in the blue

I caught my breath and found some air

the same time so did you

(but it comes right with you)

right place right time

(I'll take the time for you)

just take your time

(I think you know how to)

love me just right

(cos it comes right with you)

just take your time

we talk away the days

they go fast and slow

you're one ocean away now

I hold you on the phone

cos all those years I disappeared

and lost myself in blue

caught my breath and found the surface

up there I met you”

(Murray, In Blue, 2024)

But it is the titular track, ‘Soft Power’, which says it all, truly embodying the soul of which I speak. To those who listen to this hush which grows in our hearts and minds, it turns out not to be so quiet after all, indeed it can be brilliantly loud. Morningside’s underlying love for the ordinary and every day, which was expressed with such delicate and understated ease through its lived-in feel and mellow suburban scenes, is finally recognised for the pinnacling achievement that it is, and it is truly worthy of celebration. The elegant beauty of the inner life and all those quiet moments of reflection that feed it, pulsate out into the whole wide world, echoing forth like the white-blue twilight of dawn, imbued with all the wonder of a child’s dream reborn, and all the courage of a woman who’s been to the deepest recesses of the soul-

“I’ll find it, soft power

in my hands, I’ll hold it

I’ll find it, my soft power

in the dark, I’ll hold the quiet glow

there’s a beauty

in the quiet side of me

like a secret

I’m trying not to keep

if I could reach it

and hold it lightly

could it remind me

I’ve been asleep within the dream?”

(Murray, Soft Power, 2024)

This must be the herald of the change. Our world is a beautiful dream and every single moment of it is touched with authenticity, no matter how softly. After all the hardness is through, moments of inner clarity reveal themselves, resonations felt deeply and heard subtly. If we could just reach out with wide eyes, deep hearts and clear minds, maybe we could make that dream grow more and more real. It is a power we must hold safe but not keep secret. The world needs it now more than ever. If architecture is frozen music, then surely Amelia’s intimate songs are a city of dreams, a Utopia grown, as much as it is built, on the principle of authenticity. The passions in her heart, like a great pearly city which arose from the depths and spiralled up into the sparkling sky to become a star. The city can become natural; it can become authentic-

“I think that when people are brave enough to choose themselves and honour that- there will be so much more light people can give to the world.”

(Murray in Riddell, 2022)

IV.           Ever heard this story?

Once the façade collapses and dust settles, the cold persona which constrained the spirit will melt away and the dividing gash between head and heart will begin to fill with the swirling constellations of intuitions and dreams. Growing up from deep within, the soft soul revealing to each person their honest selves. Night is through, courage replaces doubt, and the sun rises to the lion’s golden roar.

The laws of destruction and regeneration reverberate out into all our workings and no metropolis, no matter how iron and chrome, can escape natures ingrained poetry. Individuals, businesses, movements, and civilisations are built on principles which rise to prominence, mature into law and order, and then ossify into untouchable, unquestionable gospel. But from atop this vantage point, this dream of mine built into reality, with a mountain of books behind me and the whole city in front, I can see the green gardens and flowing corridors of life lying dormant below, all ready to burst out and caress the tired grey buildings. For surely when we choose to grow, it can only lead to abundance. Nature is so much stronger than we could ever hope to comprehend. If only we could give her a chance to prove it to us.

Hephaestus builds out from the centre of the earth, and of all the institutions our utopia will preserve, the most important must be authenticity. Give me the material, the inspiration, and I will use my science, my hands, to cultivate a city for everyone from out of your beautiful music. Over there shall go a small stadium, covered with hanging violets and a roof like silver tissue. When the sun shines through the green, it will tinge it gold, and peace will fall over the hearts of all humankind, as its mere thought does to mine. And there shall go the sunlit waterfall houses, like spheres of chrome, and reflected all around them there will be sailboats floating on a sparkling ocean of dreams, filling up the clear blue skies. For every natural space restored, there will be a song like yours, a beautiful private garden where people can find a quiet moment to reconnect with their authentic selves, like glistening light on the surface of a sea with depths that encompass all of ancient myth and the evolution of the mind.    

Let us then shed off the repressive facades and the twisted lies with the hearts simple truth. Off with the dower nihilism of the inflated intellect, the gleeful sadism of stunted souls, and the sheepish meaninglessness of an extraverted society, slowly collapsing in all around us. For none of those mundane evils, forced onto us by bitter pasts and corrupted cultures, can stand in truths way. We are such stuff as dreams are made on! Let the soft power speak now- precious, courageous and frank- patiently it has waited, as we have been carried away by meaner things, but surely now it’s time has finally arrived, the star in the sky.

 [Change yourself and you can change the world]

I had a dream once, a long, long time ago, when I was just a little boy. It filled up the trees and covered the skies with soft wonder and hope. And without realising it, I went looking for it in every flower and under every stone. It seems like somehow, along the way, I became a man, and the man became a scientist with a clear sense of how this world works, and then there wasn’t much time for dreaming anymore. Then one day I heard your music and ever since, in the back of my mind, I’ve been searching every remote corner of this earth reaching for one flower, one living thing that might rival the resounding deep beauty of your songs. In the wilderness I unearthed ancient civilisations and explored the deepest recesses of time. I saw the aurora borealis dancing like a ballerina over Arctic fjords. I saw the milky way envelope the Amazon in a second cosmic canopy. And in the beating heartlands of Africa I saw great thunderclouds turn mountains into molehills, but none of it compares to the way your music makes me feel. 

I let go, and Amelia- call me sometime…

[theemotionalecologist@gmail.com]

[…and for the rest of you…]

[…You’re going to carry that weight.]

Music

Fazerdaze. (2024). Soft Power. A., Murray. https://fazerdaze.bandcamp.com/album/soft-power

Fazerdaze. (2022). Break! section1. https://fazerdaze.bandcamp.com/album/break

Fazerdaze. (2017). Morningside. A., Murray. https://fazerdaze.bandcamp.com/album/morningside

Emily Bindiger. (1999). Flying Teapot. Cowboy Bebop (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack 3- Blue), Sunrise Music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0-QC-3eL-k&ab_channel=EmilyBindiger-Topic

Freak Slug & Treasure Bloom. (2019). Your Touch. https://freakslug.bandcamp.com/track/your-touch

Seatbelts. (2001). Goodnight Julia. Cowboy Bebop- Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack- Future Blues), Sunrise Music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKuKfEM1gdo&ab_channel=Seatbelts-Topic

Seatbelts. (1998). Space Lion. Cowboy Bebop (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Sunrise Music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DybCZvW1mBo&ab_channel=Seatbelts-Topic

Jon Hopkins. (2014). Last Time. Original by Moderat, Monkeytown Records. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVB89rTIkFA&ab_channel=Moderat-Topic

Alex_Jauk. (nd). Loud Waterfall Ambience. https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/search/waterfall%20ambience/

Alex_Jauk. (nd). Water Flow Ambience. https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/water-flow-ambience-196397/

Alex_Jauk. (nd). Water Flow Sound. https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/water-flow-sound-200050/

MissyWhimsyArt. (nd). Ocean Waves. https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/ocean-waves-266187/

Video

Amelia Murray. (2017). Fazerdaze – Lucky Girl. Samuel Kristofski, Amelia Murray, Courtney Macris. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My4j3vgFxbE 

Amelia Murray. (2017). Fazerdaze / Take it slow (Official Music Video). Julian Vares. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cjpAz5iUnA 

Amelia Murray. (2022). Fazerdaze – Break! (Official Video). Amelia Murray. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKts5sczKEw&ab_channel=Fazerdaze

Amelia Murray. (2022). Fazerdaze – The Thick of It. Amelia Murray. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bobrMs11S8Y&t=370s&ab_channel=Fazerdaze

Amelia Murray. (2022). Fazerdaze – Winter (Official Video). Amelia Murray. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hjx68WhintI&ab_channel=Fazerdaze

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References

Anderson, J. (2022). Album Review: Fazerdaze – Break! EP. NARC. https://narcmagazine.com/album-review-fazerdaze-break-ep/

Flying Nun. (2022). Album Review: Fazerdaze – ‘Break!’. https://www.flyingnun.co.nz/blogs/music-review-album-vinyl/review-fazerdaze-break

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Lochrie, C. (2022). The indie singer-songwriter tells Rolling Stone AU/NZ about where she’s been for the past five years, leading up to her excellent new EP, ‘Break!’. Rolling Sone. https://au.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/fazerdaze-interview-43888/

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